Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
