Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
it's like iHOP with fire
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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