i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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