i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
