It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
