Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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