whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
