You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
