No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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