you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
