Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
