I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
