Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
