I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
