Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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