he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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