jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
