hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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