My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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