the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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