After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
