I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Come see our sink grown plant.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
