I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
