I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
NoShamevember. You game?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
