Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
