Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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