Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
