I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
