So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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