Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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