Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
