Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
