i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Randomize
