with your own penis?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Randomize
