Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
