so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
