she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
tell me about the eggs
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
