You can't special order awesome
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
