better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
