Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
