Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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