I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
