Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
did you just send me my own nude
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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