I'm drive I can fine osifer
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
