I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
