Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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