that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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