I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
