I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize