They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
