In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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