zippers are such a cool invention
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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