You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
