Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
